The Fitted Sheet

Why must you aggravate me so?

In the dryer,
you unabashedly gather up
all the other laundry,
ball it up inside you,
and make sure
it stays damp.

And the effort it takes
to make you unhand
the rest of the laundry
is ridiculous.

What is that about?

Let go.

Those are not your towels.

Finally out of the dryer,
you are impossible to fold.

And don't tell me
I don't know how.

I match up your corners.
I tuck them together.
I even let you be
whatever that is
you are in the middle.

Then I fold you in thirds,
fold you in half,
and somehow

you still look like
I balled you up
and shoved you
in the closet
with zero effort.

I TRIED.

Don't even get me started
on putting you on the bed.

Please explain
how you have
three wrong sides.

Three.

I put one corner on.

Wrong.

Turn you.

Wrong.

Turn you again.

STILL WRONG.

You have four corners.
The mattress has four corners.

What the hell
is happening here?

Eventually,
I get you on.

You stretch across the mattress
and fit to perfection.

Smooth.
Tight.
Secure.

Look at you.

Acting like we didn't
just go through all that.

And everything is fine

until I roll over
at 3 a.m.

POP.

Off comes a corner.

I cannot with you.

And sir,

please explain your behavior
when it's time
to take you off the mattress
and wash you again.

NOW you can hold on?

Now you cling to those corners
like life itself
will come to an end
if you let go?

I pull.

You cling.

I pull harder.

You cling harder.

What the…

Please explain.

And while you're at it,

where was
all this dedication
to the mattress
at 3 a.m.

when I simply

rolled

over?

Denise Govan Books

A Haiku, or Maybe Not

I shall write a haiku.

Five syllables.

Seven syllables.

Five syllables.

That's how it works.

Probably.

I should count.

One.

Two.

Several.

Close enough.

This poem has already

 gone off the rails.

Which is unfortunate

 because I don't think

 there were rails

 to begin with.

Now I'm wondering

 who decided

 haikus needed rules.

Was there a meeting?

Did somebody stand up

 and declare that all future haikus

 would be five, seven, five?

Did everyone agree?

Were there forms to sign?

It seems like

 the sort of thing

 that should have paperwork.

Tiny penguin sneezes.

 Or perhaps a cucumber.

 The mailbox agrees.

Written for Bad Poetry Day

Why I Walked Into This Room

 

Why I Walked Into This Room

I had a thought.

A good thought.
An important thought.

At least I assume it was important.

It was important enough
to get me out of my chair
and send me walking
into another room.

I arrived.

And immediately realized
I had no idea why.

The room looked familiar.
The things in it belonged to me.

One of them
was apparently
the reason I came in here.

Unfortunately,
the identity of that item
had been lost.

Not misplaced.

Lost.

Somewhere between
the first room
and the second.

I looked around,
hoping the object itself
would reveal its importance.

Nothing.

Everything appeared
equally unnecessary.

The original mission
had vanished.

Whether this was due to age,
distraction,
or a squirrel outside the window
remains unclear.

Eventually,
I accepted the situation.

Whatever I wanted
was obviously
not that important.

If it had been important,
I would have remembered it.

Probably.

So I left.

Confident the matter
was settled.

Until twenty minutes later,
when I remembered.

I walked back
into the other room.

And forgot again.

Denise Govan Books

For My Monster, Rex

April 12, 2011 – July 8, 2026

For 15 years, you were my Monster.

You got that name way back when you and Katie were just little pups. The Monsters, we called you two because of the havoc y'all created.

You were always the goofier of the two, and that held true right up to today.

My RooRoo. Poking your head over the garden wall and singing the song of your people to greet me when I got home from work. Constantly tangling yourself up in your blanket. Making sure the entire house was awake no later than 5:00 every single morning with your double bark.

Those little things. The everyday routines that became part of the fabric of our lives. The things I'll miss the most.

Thank you for 15 years of laughter, love, and memories. 'Til we meet again at the Rainbow Bridge. You'll always have a place in my heart.

Happy 250th Birthday, America. 🇺🇸

Two hundred fifty years is a long time.

We've had some incredible moments and some heartbreaking ones. We've disagreed, made mistakes, solved problems, invented things, overcome challenges, and somehow kept moving forward.

I know things aren't perfect. They never have been.

But today, I'm choosing to think about the people who built this country, defended it, improved it, and refused to give up on it. Every generation has left its mark, and every generation has had work left to do.

So here's to remembering where we've been, appreciating the people who built what we have, believing the American story has always been one of getting back up, and knowing there's still plenty worth fighting for and plenty worth celebrating.

Happy Independence Day. ❤️🤍💙

 

Crater

Another thrilling episode of:
 my body being ridiculous
 starring: me, lightheaded and annoyed
 a low-budget blood sugar thriller

Blood sugar drop.
 Well, crap.
 This hasn’t happened in a while.

Cue the shakes.
 Wobbliness.
 Dizziness.
 The full “am I about to pass out or just being dramatic?” experience.
 Uncomfortable doesn't even cover it.

Can I walk to the kitchen?
 Nope. Not playing that game tonight.

Immediate solution?
 Alert the husband.
 Cue his panic—not full-blown “call 911” panic,
 but a solid “oh shit, act fast” kind of moment.
 Mind goes temporarily blank.
 No OJ in the fridge.
 But hey—Werther’s Original.
 Because when life gives you low blood sugar,
 you suck on grandma’s candy and pray for a glucose miracle.

I should’ve eaten more
 than a handful of granola cereal.
 That’s not dinner.
 That’s bird food.
 I know this. My body definitely knows this.
 But my appetite?
 Missing in action.

I don’t eat much anymore.
 Not intentionally—just… meh.
 Just vibes and crossed fingers.

And yet, my blood sugar
 is somehow not a fan of this strategy.
 Rude.

Too much sugar? Bad.
 Too little? Worse.
 Not enough food?
 Apparently, “basically nothing” isn’t a great long-term plan.

I need to figure this out.
 Put it right on the to-do list,
 somewhere between “don’t pass out” and “figure out dinner.”

I don’t feel like eating.
 But I guess I must.
 Because “faceplanting into the floor”
 isn’t the aesthetic I’m going for.

So I nibble.
 Grudgingly.
 Resentfully.
 Like a toddler with a grudge.

What a glamorous life.

From Laugh. Sigh. Grit Teeth. Write About It

The Plumbing Saga

Prologue
It started with the rain, or so we thought.
It rained for days, leaving puddles alongside the house.
The muddy dog footprints in the back hall were insane.
It got better for a time. Then more rain. More puddles.
Then it hadn't rained for a few days, but the puddles persisted.
The muddy feet continued. Called the water company.
They said install our app. App installed. First notification:
You have a leak.
We're losing four gallons an hour.
The leak started June 4^th, same time as the rain.
We've lost over a thousand gallons in the last twenty days.
I don't even want to see our water bill.
Called a plumbing company for an estimate. They’re coming out today.
Not sure how we pay for it, but it has to be done.
Hey, guess what?
Surprise.
The company I had all set up to come out today?
Yeah.
They don't do leak detection.
cuss words
lots of cuss words.
Found another company. Verified they do detection and repair.
Coming out tomorrow. When tomorrow? No idea. Just tomorrow.
I didn't want to do anything tomorrow anyway.
Sitting around waiting for plumbers, I shouldn't be allowed that much fun.
The worry over the cost is mounting. The puddles are still there. The muddy footprints continue.
The joys of owning a home.

Episode 1: Waiting for the Plumber...
9:00 a.m.
Called to find out my appointment window.
Why I wasn't given a time yesterday when I scheduled today's visit, I'll never know, but there I was.
12:30 to 2:30 was the answer.
I laughed quietly to myself and planned on 2:30 to 3:00 because nobody has ever shown up at the beginning of a service window, and let's be real... previous jobs always "run long."
3:30 p.m.
Text: Your technician is on the way.
Excellent.
4:35 p.m.
No technician.
Called the company.
"I don't know why you got that previous message, but the technician should be calling you any moment."
Interesting.
5:00 p.m.
Phone rings.
"The technician's van broke down."
No really. That's the story they went with.
"We can reschedule you for the 8:00 to 1:00 window tomorrow."
"No. You can schedule me for 8:00." She confirmed.
We'll see what tomorrow brings, but today wasn't exactly a glowing endorsement of the company.
Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting episode of Will They Actually Show Up?
 
Episode 2: Waiting for the Plumber... Again.
8:00 a.m.
Text message:
**"We're on our way."**
Excellent. Progress.
9:05 a.m.
No plumber. Called the company.
"Oh... your appointment was canceled."
I'm sorry...
WHAT?
I most certainly did NOT cancel.
Apparently, there was another phone number attached to my account. The confirmation text went to both numbers, and *that* number canceled the appointment.
Not once.
Twice.
Yesterday's appointment. And today's.
Why there was a mystery phone number on my account...
Why nobody noticed the cancellation when I called yesterday...
Those questions remain unanswered.
Meanwhile, the technician, believing I had canceled, headed to his second appointment. He'll come here after he's finished there.
So...
We're back to waiting.
Again.
I called around to other plumbing companies, but nobody can get here until tomorrow.
Ironically, the company that accidentally canceled me twice is still my best chance of getting the leak fixed today.
Stay tuned.
I have no idea how this season ends.
 
Episode 3: We Have To What?
We have to repipe the house.
*sigh*
I figured that'd be the answer because it was the one I didn't want to hear.
But... a 41 y/o house with galvanized pipes...
Exactly.
When the tech left, we were talking about starting the job on Monday.
Then, as I was writing this update, he called.
They're sending a crew to start the job today.
Today!
Now here's hoping there are no "unscheduled" surprises during Episode 4: The Repiping.
A girl can dream.
 
Episode 4: The Repiping
The saga resumed at 3:00p this afternoon when Oscar showed up.
He spent the next five hours diligently making holes in the house.
Okay, okay... not all over the house.
Just one each in the front hall, the kitchen hallway, the attic, the garage, and one outside by the water service line.
He worked until 8:00p getting everything prepped for tomorrow.
Tomorrow's agenda:
Two more holes.
One in the kitchen bar wall (living room side).
One behind the refrigerator.
Then the new pipes start going in.
The house currently looks a bit like Swiss cheese, but at least we're finally moving in the right direction.
Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment of The Plumbing Saga.
 
Episode 5: Making Progress... and More Holes

Today's mission:
Tame the leak.
Make more holes.
Okay... the leak isn't really that dramatic, and the holes are way less chaotic than my doodle would have you believe.
But where's the fun in drawing a tiny drip and a perfectly square hole with clean edges?
The repiping adventure continues in a few hours.
Stay tuned... I'm cautiously optimistic this saga may have a happy ending. Our budget may never recover, but the backyard and the water bill should.

Episode 6: Let's Get This Done
They said they'd be here by 9:00.
By 9:30, I was irritated and on the phone.
I promise it took every ounce of self-control not to light into the person on the other end about how terrible their customer service has been. If you're running late, at least make a quick call to your client.
Instead, I had to call.
Twice, before anyone could even tell me when they'd arrive.
The hell?!
Let me clarify. Once the techs finally got here, they were courteous and worked diligently. My issue isn't with them. It's with a company that apparently doesn't believe in a "running late" courtesy call policy in place.
When they finally pulled in at 10:15, they quickly got drop cloths down, tools unloaded, and got to work.
By the time they left today, all the holes had been made.
The new pipes are in place and ready to be connected.
While making the hole by the main water line on the left side of the house a little bigger, they uncovered another leak... apparently the right side leak that started this whole saga has a friend.
Tomorrow should be the final day.
We'll be without water most of the day, but it also means we should be leak-free by dinnertime.
One more round of the Waiting for the Plumber game.
I can hardly wait.
 
Episode 7: Will They Finish Today?

The tech called.
He'll be here by 8:30.
Yeah, yeah... I've heard that before.
But thanks for calling this time.
Not sure how long the water will be off today, but I can guarantee we'll desperately need it the entire time it's unavailable.
The second it's back on?
We'll probably forget we even have running water.
Keep your fingers crossed today goes smoothly with zero surprises.
No third leak.
No unexpected "Well... we found something else."
I'll keep ya posted...
 
He arrived at 9:00.
Because why break the already established "arrive late" tradition?
It's noon.
There's been a lot of activity in the attic. (our pipes drop into the house from there)
The water hasn't been turned off yet, and of course we haven't needed a single drop.
Apparently we're saving up all our water needs for the exact moment they shut it off.
I'm starting to wonder if this project is actually going to end today...
More later.
 
It's later...
Our tech got left high and dry.
The two other guys who were supposed to join him today called off, leaving him to tackle a three-person job by himself.
To his credit, he's been busting ass all day trying to get us finished.
It's 6:00 p.m.
I'm not a plumber, but looking at today's progress, I'm thinking Monday may be our real finish line.
I'd love to be wrong.
Please let me be wrong.
Stay tuned...

 

It's 8:00 p.m.
Our tech is exhausted.
He apologized for not getting the job finished today.
So...
Monday, right?
Nope.
He's coming back tomorrow.
Yes.
On a Sunday.
I know.
You don't see that kind of work ethic very often these days.
I'm guessing since his "help" called off today, he'll probably be flying solo again tomorrow.
Here's hoping Episode 8 is the season finale... with zero plot twists.
Oh... and in case you're wondering... the water still hasn't been turned off.
 
Episode 8: Will This Ever End?
Today's episode should begin around 9:30 a.m.
Well... he said 9:00.
But we all know how that goes.
It sounds like he'll be flying solo again today.
His goal, of course, is to finish the job.
Mine too.
But after the last four days, with the finish line playing hard to get, I'm done assuming anything.
Stay tuned...

 
He arrived at 9:35.
Close enough. 
The water was turned off by 10:00.
Sometime after that, a second technician showed up to help, so our guy finally isn't flying solo.
It's almost 3:00.
They've been working hard all day.
The water has been off this entire time, and somehow we've managed to survive. Barely.
The good news?
He says they're getting close to turning the water back on.
Which also means...
We're getting close to the end of **The Plumbing Saga.**
I'm cautiously optimistic.
But after these last few days, I'm not celebrating until water comes out of a faucet, they're packed up, and I watch the truck disappear down the street for the final time.

It's 6:30 p.m.
The water is still off.
The drilling and hammering sounds now have longer stretches of silence between them...
But they're still working.
I'm cautiously hopeful but also increasingly convinced this project may never end.
 
Episode 9: The Grand Finale
At 8:30 they drove away.
The job is done.
The water is back on.
And I had no idea how much water pressure we'd been missing until I turned on the faucet.
Apparently we've been living with a polite suggestion of water all this time.
The repipe is finished. The backyard can begin recovering (that project starts tomorrow).
The water bill might eventually forgive us.
Our budget, however, has entered witness protection.
Thanks to everyone who followed along through puddles, waiting, holes in the walls, repeatedly changing completion times. It was far more entertaining with company.

End of Season 1

Just when we thought the final credits had rolled and the series was over...

Two weeks later... Season 2

I would like to file an official complaint with whoever keeps approving these episodes.

Remember that part of the repipe where we decided not to replace the line from the street to the house because, you know... saving money?

Yeah.

Turns out we saved exactly *zero dollars*

The line from the street to the house now has to be replaced too.

Digging might start this weekend, but definitely by Monday.

I have no inspirational ending for this update.

Just...

*cuss words.*

Lots and lots of cuss words.   

Season 2, Episode 1, Part 1: The Digging 

Season 2, Episode 1 premieres today.

Backstory: The leak notification estimating we were losing 1.4 gallons of water an hour showed up the night before my husband's surgery, shortly after we said goodbye to our 15y/o dog, because apparently life likes to stack dramatic storylines instead of running them one at a time.

Today's notification?

3.6 gallons an hour.

Clearly the pipe didn't get the memo that we're a little busy right now.  

The trench from the street to the house is scheduled to be dug today.

The appointment window opened at 8:00 a.m., which, based on previous experience, translates to somewhere around 9-ish... maybe even 10.  

Maybe the digging crew is different.

I'm not taking that bet.

I have no idea how long this is all going to take, and honestly, I don't really care. They'll be working 100% outside, so as long as they leave us with running water each night, they can take the entire week.

Stay tuned... I'm sure Episode 2 will write itself. 

Season 2, Episode 1, Part 2: Rain Delay

The Season 2 premiere is experiencing a weather delay.  

There is no word yet on when today's premiere will begin.

We have reached out to Mother Nature for comment, but have not received a reply.

Stay tuned...

Update

The rain delay is officially over.

Well... the delay part is.

It's still raining, just not hard enough to stop production.  

Season 2, Episode 1 is now back in progress.

Season 2, Episode 2: Fixing the Leak 

We were surprised to learn Episode 2 was going to take place today as well.

The digging is already complete. It seems the combination of a leaking pipe and several hours of rain softened up what is normally rock-hard Texas dirt.

Water will be shut off for the next 2 - 3 hours while the new pipe is installed.

The trench won't be filled back in for a few days because the ground needs to dry out first, but the leak itself will be fixed today.

Notification Received

The leak is officially gone!  

We'd better not receive another leak notification for the next... let's say 30 years. I think that's a reasonable request. 

Thanks in advance.  

Season 2, Episode 3: The Moat

Three days of rain have transformed the trench into what appears to be a fully functional moat.

Unfortunately, moats were not part of the original plumbing plan, so we're still waiting for everything to dry out before the season finale can be completed. 

Will this ever end?

After a week and a half of waiting...

Season 2, Episode 4: Fillin' in the Trench (Series Finale)
 
I came home from my meeting to discover that S2, Ep 4: Fillin' in the Trench, otherwise known as the series finale, had taken place while I was away.
I would've taken a picture, but Tropical Storm Bertha is currently dumping rain on us like we personally insulted her.  

The Plumbing Saga series has officially been canceled.
May it never be renewed. 

Denise Govan Books

Tomorrow, Ever Since

 

Thirty-six years ago today, we had our first date.
Neither of us knew that "See you tomorrow" would turn into a lifetime.
This poem was written because of that one ordinary June night.
 
We’d been talking off and on for three months.
That June night back in 1990, as I was heading out to the club,
you showed up:
“I was coming to see if you wanted to go shoot some pool.”

Flew back up the stairs,
traded my club clothes for corner bar clothes.

We walked over to Slick Willie’s Family Pool Hall —
laughed, talked, had a few drinks, and played some pool.
I won a couple times… pretty sure you let me.

Back home, we made plans to see each other tomorrow.
And we’ve been part of each other’s tomorrow ever since.

From: Laugh. Sigh. Grit Teeth. Write About It.
 

The Case of the Missing Remote: A Mystery

Some time ago in a far off land.

Okay.
Last night.
In the livingroom.

Remote in hand, I settled into my spot on the couch.
Yes, my spot.
Don't judge.
You have one too.

Everything was fine.
The remote rested on the cushion beside me.
Safe.
Secure.
Accounted for.
Or so I thought.

The show ended.
I reached for the remote to change the channel.
Nothing.
Gone.
Vanished.
The cushion was empty.

Now, this raised several questions.
Where did it go?
How did it get there?
Who took it?
And perhaps most importantly, why?

The seat beside me had been empty the entire time.
No one sat there.
No one walked by.
No dogs approached.

The investigation began.
I searched between the couch cushions.
Under the pillows.
Under the couch.
In the dog blankets.
Around the dog beds.
In the kitchen.
Out of desperation, I checked in the refrigerator.

I would like the record to show I had not left the couch
at any point before the remote disappeared.

Still,
I checked.
No remote.

The search continued.
Hours passed.
Okay.
Maybe five minutes.
But emotionally,
hours.

Defeated,
I returned to the couch.
And there it was.
Sitting calmly on the cushion beside me.
Exactly where I had left it.
As if it had been there the entire time.

The case remains unsolved.
The suspect list currently includes:
the couch,
the dogs,
interdimensional travel,
and the remote itself.

Denise Govan Books

Happy Father's Day

 My dad has been one of my biggest supporters, including cheering me on through this whole writing journey.

Father's Day seemed like the perfect time to share this poem, which grew out of memories of our deep-sea fishing trips years ago.
Some memories never really drift away.

Deep Sea Fishing With My Dad

Family vacation— but this part? Always just me and Dad.

Mom and my brother were invited, but they always passed. I didn’t mind. It meant I had him all to myself.

We’d wake before sunrise, moving quiet through the beach house while everyone else slept. The air outside was cool, carrying that sharp salt smell that whispered, adventure’s waiting.

Down at the dock, the boat sat ready.

The engine coughed to life, sending ripples across water still half-asleep. Seagulls circled, loud and greedy, like they knew what we were after.

The sun crept up slow— gold spilling across the waves like someone tipped a paint can. We headed toward “the perfect spot”— because, of course, the guide always knew.

We baited our hooks, hands slick with squid, dropped our lines, and waited— listening to water slap the side of the gently bobbing boat, feeling the sun warm our backs, hoping for that sudden pull that meant we had something.

Sometimes we did. Sometimes we didn’t. Didn’t matter.

Because those mornings? They were already perfect. Just me and Dad. Nothing else needed.

From Laugh. Sigh. Grit Teeth. Write About It.

A Poem About Coffee

 

Because sometimes you need a little nonsense.

Coffee.

Warm.

Inviting.

Comforting.

A wonderful part

of my day.

Speaking of wonderful,

did you know

octopuses have three hearts?

That seems excessive.

One heart is enough

to cause problems.

Three feels like showing off.

The heart, of course,

is a symbol of love.

Which brings us

to Valentine's Day.

Which is in February.

February is a strange month.

Short.

Suspicious.

Occasionally cold.

In Texas,

it's one of the few months

that remembers

winter exists.

Winter weather

makes me want

something warm.

Something comforting.

Something inviting.

Something that smells good.

I should make coffee.

Wait.

Wasn't this

a poem about coffee?

Denise Govan Books

Welcome to My Corner of the Internet

Thanks for stopping by. I'm Denise Govan, a teacher, writer, doodler, and chronic observer of life's little absurdities. This page is a place to learn more about my books and see what I'm working on next.

Current Books

Poems about teaching, family, chronic illness, change, humor, and the ordinary moments that become stories.

A collection of poems inspired by everyday life, unexpected moments, and the thoughts that refuse to stay quiet.

A gentle fantasy picture book about kindness, courage, and the difference one small act can make.

Coming Soon:
Something Waits for You to Blink
A collection of creepy mini stories for readers who enjoy things that feel a little...
               off.

All books are available on Amazon.
Visit my Amazon Author Page: Denise Govan

Whether you found me through a book, a poem, a doodle, or a Pinterest pin, thank you for visiting my little corner of the internet.